The Blueprint
LIFE- To me its important for every young man to have someone they look up to. A role model could be their favorite athlete, older sibling, father, etc. My role model was my brother, Troy. He passed away when I was in 6th grade back in 2006. It crushed me. It felt like one of my most prized possessions was taken from me, and there was nothing I could do about it. Troy and I didn't have our father in our lives, but he never made me feel like I was missing out on a father-son relationship.
I was always blessed to be surrounded by positive male role models in my life. My godfather, Darryl Wallace, who I call "Pops" is the most influential person in my life. He and I have such a strong bond, the type of bond a young man and his biological father should have. He always taught me about money every since I was a little kid who had balled up, wrinkled dollars in his pocket, he always taught me. The first thing he taught me was how my money should be organized. All bills upright facing the same way, small bills on the outside with the larger bills on the inside. To many, this small lesson doesn't mean a thing, to me it meant everything. The lesson was beyond how my money looked in my pocket, it taught me that a man shouldn't want to boast, or feel like he needs to.
My cousin Lonte' stayed at my house with me when I was in middle school, he took my room so I had to slept in my mom's room. It was cool to finally have someone like me in the house, granted that I grew up living with my mom and two sisters Ashlea, and Janee'. Living with three woman got tough at times so when I found out Lonte' was staying I was ecstatic. Lonte' was fly, I used to steal his clothes and wear them to school so people could think they belonged to me. His sense of style began to rub off on me as I've gotten older.
He was with me the day my brother died. One Sunday afternoon in my old room, my cousin Black was sitting on this clear container that had a white top, every time you sat on it you'd make a dent. Lonte' was sitting on the bed furthest to the window playing his Madden franchise mode with the New Orleans Saints. Then there I was, as I always did sitting on the edge of the bed watching him play Madden wishing he'd give me a turn. My mother was downstairs cooking and my sister Janee' was cleaning. My mothers phone rang and I heard her banging the spoon on the pot to clean it off before placing it to the side. The spoon fell to the floor and all I could hear were my mother and sister screaming and crying to the top of their lungs. After my brother passed, Lonte' and I built a strong bond, because of that, he is someone I call my brother.
I jokingly call my oldest cousin, Rico, "Uncle Frank" after Frank Lucas who was portrayed by Denzel Washington in American Gangster. I don't know if he knows how much he's taught me or even if he knows that he's taught me anything at all, but the music I listen to comes from spending time with him when all he'd play is Jay-Z, who is my favorite rapper. Trips from his house to my house would be time for lessons. A song would play, after the rapper would say a few lyrics that had some meaning to it he'd stop the track and look at me with a smirk and say, "you don't even know what he saying do you?" I'd lie and act like I did to try to impress him. A majority of the time I wouldn't know, he'd explain and I'd take in the information as if I was preparing for a test.
"Along with, if we stay strong We can get paper longer than Pippen's arms Plead the fifth when it comes to the fam I'm like a dog; I never speak, but I understand Where my dogs at? Where my soldiers at war? Where your balls at? Whoa, gotta pause that, whoa Lost 92 bricks, had to fall back Knocked a n* off his feet, but I crawled back." - Jay-Z Never Change
The words from Jay-Z's Never Change stuck with me. Its amazing how music could influence a persons life when you listen to it. Rico taught me how to not just hear the music but to listen to it and learn from it. He chose to point out the lyrics that meant something, the ones that would teach me lessons. "I'm like a dog; I never speak, but I understand." That line in particular taught me the importance of listening, loyalty, and respect, traits that dogs have that some humans lack because its viewed as a weakness in the younger society.
I couldn't complete this post without mentioning my Uncle Alvin, the one who taught me how to ball my fist up when fighting to avoid breaking my thumb. The lessons he taught me weren't always through words. His presence alone was enough. I was in football practice one evening when I was in high school, and during team reps, on a regular day I would give very little effort. This particular day I looked over at the bleachers and standing at the top was my Uncle. After seeing him my effort shot through the roof because I know if he saw me not giving my all he'd be disappointed in me. I learned from him by looking up to him and seeing how much he loved our family. It was tough to see him go, but he left his mark on a lot of young men because of the type of man he was.
A blueprint is defined as a plan, design, diagram, drawing, sketch, map, layout, etc. I believe all these men who were place in my life were all apart of God's plan. A quote that I live by is that everything happens for a reason. This is all apart of his plan, I am living the blueprint God made for me.
Give people flowers while they can still smell them. I send these flowers in words. Thank you for molding me into the man I am today.